darling heart, i loved you from the start
by sweetsallypeaches
Summary: it's us and nothing about us is easy / or beck and jade try to adjust to some changes
1. cause i believe we fly

**a/n:** hiii! i wanted to thank you all for your kind reviews on my other fics, they mean so much to me. so this is my new one and i'm quite proud of it. it'll be a chapter fic (my first one yay!). i'm planning on about 5 chapters or so. enjoy! remember to r&r!

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><p>Sometimes Beck and Jade really do think people who are meant to be together always find their way in the end. It's completely cheesy but they're starting to believe it's true.<p>

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It's the day this years Hollywood Arts senior class has been waiting for. Everyone's supposed to be getting their acceptance letters into whatever colleges they applied to. Jade rushes home and checks her mailbox finding an envelope from both Georgetown and Tisch School of Arts at NYU (the only two she applied to despite Lane's protests). She ignores the facts that they feel pretty thick and she's excited (excitement's for losers). Instead of ripping them open right there she gets in her car and heads over to Beck's because they promised they'd open them together.

;;

"Ready?" Beck asks with a grin. He's holding his Tisch envelope in his hands (it was the only school they both applied to). The idea of them taking college by storm and doing what they loved was something both Beck and Jade were looking forward to. It had been both of their number one choices.

"On 3" she says gripping her envelope as they both prepare to rip them open.

"_1... 2... 3..._"

They both tear at the paper and pull out the letters, anxious to see what they hold for their future.

Beck's voice is the first to fill the room (fuck he's fast).

"Dear Beckett Oliver, We regret to inform you.." his voice trails off and his jaw tightens. Jade could feel her heart drop hearing those words and seeing the dejected look in his face.

She sighs heavily and swallows hard, reading her letter.

"Dear Jadelyn West, We regret to inform you.." her voice trails off as she crumbles up the paper and angrily shoves it in her bag along with the envelope.

"This is bullshit" she sneers.

;;

That night they celebrate Jade getting into Georgetown and Beck getting into UCLA as well as Colburn. They try not to think about the dark cloud of them being apart hanging over their heads. It's not an easy task.

;;

It's a week later and neither of them have spoken about it or their future apart. Neither Beck nor Jade are ready to confront that.

"Pizza and a Quentin Tarantino marathon tonight?" Beck asks as he leans against the wall and Jade goes through her locker, balancing her bag between the metal and her knee.

"Is that a serious question?" She asks, more grunts as she struggles to get her Calculus text book out of her locker (its really jammed in there).

"Thought I'd ask" he smiles at his girlfriend because if he could ever use the word adorable for her it'd be in that moment of frustration.

She gives the book one hard tug and it finally comes out, sending her body jerking back from the force and her bag falling to the ground. "_Fuck_" Jade mutters as the contents spill out onto the floor.

Beck bends down and starts to help Jade pick her things up. Just then Lane walks past them. He stops and turns around, heading back to the both of them.

"Hey Jade, congrats on Tisch. You're the only one who got in, great job." He says with a smile before walking off again.

Beck's brow furrows and Jade's body stiffens.

"What's he talking about?" He asks confused, he was there the day they'd gotten their letters. They both got rejected.

"All the lotion has _clearly_ gotten to his head" she says flippantly as she reaches for the rest of her things.

Beck's hand reaches for an envelope that'd fallen on the floor. As he picks it up he sees it's the envelope from Tisch. Normally Beck never goes through Jade's things but he notices her subtly eyes widen and how quickly she reaches for it to take it from him.

"You_ did _get rejected, right?" he asks, pulling it from her grasp.

"Of course I did" she says with a scoff, trying to snatch the envelope back.

He arches a brow and opens the envelope, taking out the papers inside. Jade's protests go ignored as he reads through them seeing papers that need to be signed for registration and orientation dates. Beck's brows knit together in a mix of confusion and realization. "Wanna explain this to me?"

Jade snatches the papers from her boyfriend. "There's nothing to explain" she says shoving them in her bag along with her Calculus book before slamming her locker shut.

"Jade, you got in and you lied about it."

"I don't wanna talk about it." She hisses before storming off and leaving Beck confused as to why she would do it.

;;

That afternoon Beck finds Jade sitting alone in The Black Box during lunch. She's facing the stage and snipping away at some pieces of paper. She had completely forgotten about that stupid letter and the envelope. She didn't want Beck to find out. They both desired it _so bad _and the last thing she wanted was to make him feel worse about not getting in. She loves him and wanted to spare his feelings because contrary to popular belief, Jade _cares_.

He sits beside her quietly and she doesn't say anything. She just keeps snipping away at the random papers. The silence isn't awkward or uncomfortable, it's far from it. He slips his arm around her waist and she just leans into him, resting her head on his shoulder. It's_ so natural _for the both of them.

"Feel like talking about it?"

"Not really."

Beck sighs. "You should have told me. You _know_ I would've been happy for you."

"That's not the point."

"Then what is?"

She lifts her head from his shoulder and looks him in the eye. "_We_ were supposed to go _together_. If you're not going, I'm not going."

He shakes his head, pulling her closer by the waist. "No, you're going. You always wanted to go there, I won't let you throw that away just because I didn't get in."

"Beck, I'm not going." She says, her mind made up.

"Even at Georgetown, we'll still be apart."

She pouts because honestly hadn't thought about that. After a moment of silence she finally speaks up, "I'll apply for UCLA's winter semester, problem solved."

A small chuckle escapes from his lips, "You're going to Tisch even if I have to sign the papers myself."

She shakes her head and rests it on his shoulder again. "No, I'm not."

He kisses the top of her head, smiling against her hair because really he couldn't be more proud of her for this major accomplishment.

;;

Despite her protests she does fill out her paperwork and registers for Tisch. From the moment everything's sent it almost feels like a count down to the day they'll separate. Jade doesn't like the feeling and neither does Beck so they try not to look at it that way.

;;

They spend the rest of their senior year like any other couple. He takes her to prom and even if she complains most of the night she actually has fun. They dance and she smiles which she rarely does in front of people (Beck can't help but think how beautiful she is). She doesn't even make a comment about how cliché it is to get a hotel room on prom night, which Beck is fully expecting.

;;

On their last day of school they get their yearbooks Beck is the first one to sign Jade's.

_Jade,_

_You are the best thing to happen to me. My life wouldn't be the same without you. When you make it big and famous and your name is shining in bright lights, I'm going to be right there next to you. Never forget that._

_I love you._

_-Beck_

Beck swears he can see her blush right before she snatches his yearbook from him and walks off muttering something about how much of an asshole he is because now hers isn't good enough.

;;

On their graduation night they get matching tattoos to celebrate. He gets a star to signify the star she's going to be. She gets the comedy/tragedy faces for him because he loves Shakespeare more than anyone she knows.

Afterward they go to Tori's graduation party. The whole senior class is there, even Sikowitz with a coconut glued to his hand.

They drink and dance. Jade does karaoke with André and Cat. Even once with Tori. Robbie gets so drunk he passes out in the bathtub after announcing to the whole party he's not a virgin anymore, making Cat blush as red as her hair. André and Tori sneak off together before the night is over.

It's the best way to end 4 years worth of memories.

;;

They spend every second of their summer together. They know they won't have this chance when they're on separate coasts so they take full advantage of it.

When Beck's family invites him to Hawaii, he tells them 'If you don't want Jade there, you don't want me either'. His father doesn't approve but Beck could care less because it's their summer and a trip to Hawaii isn't going to make him go anywhere without her.

The days and nights blur together into one big memory of parties, concerts, the beach, friends, movies, and sex. Before they know it it's time for her to start packing to leave.

He helps her, they don't talk the entire time.

;;

The gang has one last dinner together because as Cat put it when she arranged it 'everyone's going to be scattered everywhere soon and it makes her sad'.

Tori's been recruited by Hollywood Records and is going to be groomed to be their next big star.

André's staying put in California, going into Colburn's music program to perfect his craft though everyone thinks there's no need because he's already there.

Cat and Robbie are going to Penn State together. Robbie for creative writing and Cat for their Arts program.

They have a barbecue on the beach and Tori and André sing one last duet for their friends before everyone goes their separate ways. The 6 friends make a promise around a bonfire to keep in touch and not drift apart or forget each other if they do.

;;

Beck's truck is parked high above the city of Los Angeles by the Hollywood sign, looking up at the stars. They're not shining bright because of the smog of the city but no one's complaining. She lays with her head on his chest and body curled against him on a blanket in the bed of his truck. An arm is wrapped protectively around her waist, keeping her close as his hand is linked with hers across his torso. He links and unlinks their fingers as they stare at the night sky.

It's the night before she's set to leave. The air is filled with a mix of the music coming from his pearpod in the cab of the truck and the sound of the crickets chirping; all coming together to effectively drown out the topic they don't want to talk about lingering above their heads. It's dark save for the lights from the sign and the fireflies around them. Jade's listening to the steady _thumpthumpthumping_ of her boyfriends heart and the sound of his breathing.

Moments like these are what she loves most, being in his arms and them being _them. _No complications. No drama. No bullshit. Just them being together. She feels lucky that this summer has been all about these moments (most of the year actually). She couldn't have asked for anything better.

The cool night breeze blows around them and Jade pulls the flannel shirt she was wearing courtesy of her boyfriend tighter around herself. She notes the sharp inhale he takes as his hand rubs her waist.

"Where do you see yourself in the future?" he asks almost wistfully.

She looks up at him with a curious smile, wondering where that came from. "Why are you so curious?" she wonders.

"Just humor me" he says as he brings their hands to his lips and places a gentle kiss on her knuckles making a small smile present itself on her lips.

So she humors him as she looks back at the dimly lit stars in the sky, a part of her wishing they were farther from the city so she could see them_ really _shine.

"Well, I see myself acting on Broadway first and when I've conquered that I'd like to come back to Hollywood and work on the big screen." A beat of silence passes. "I'd want to direct and write too."

She's staring at the brightest star in the sky which she concludes is the North Star. She fixates on that point listening to his breathing and she can tell he's thinking, most likely about her future or his. Jade makes a mental note to just look at the North Star if she feels like she's ever losing her way because it's supposed to guide people home after all.

"Where do you see yourself in the future?" she asks, now curious.

He unlinks their hands and curls his fingers under chin, tilting her head to look into her piercing blue eyes.

"With you."

Jade's lips turn into an undeniable grin and Beck swears he can see the faint blush on her skin in the soft light their surroundings provide.

"You're such a dork" she breathes against his lips as he dips his head to kiss her. It's soft and tender. When he pulls away he whispers "_I love you._" It rings so loud in her ears. They've said it more than once (he's said it more than she has but that's a minor detail) but it doesn't mean her heart doesn't swell with joy each time it happens. It's disgusting really.

Jade West doesn't do romance but there's an exception to everything. Beck Oliver just so happens to be hers.

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They make love under the stars that night. Their bodies moving together in a beautiful rhythm as they become one. It's a beautiful symphony as their hearts beat in tune with each others making a melody to a song that sounds better than anything that anyone could ever write. They fall asleep in each others arms, the night sky providing the perfect backdrop to the best ending of the summer either of them could ever ask for. It's completely cheesy and cliché but she can live with that.

;;

His arms are wrapped around her and her head is nestled into the crook of his neck as they stand in front of her terminal. Everyone's bustling around them but they remain still as if stopped by time.

"I don't want to go" she murmurs against his skin.

'"I don't want you to" he sighs.

"Then I won't."

He shakes his head. "You have to and you will."

Her presses his hands against the small of her back. He doesn't want to let her go but he has to so she can be the woman she's destined to be.

She shifts in his arms, pulling back with sadness in her eyes. "Is this the part where we break up?"

He shakes his head, giving her a curious look. "What gives you that idea?"

"We'll be on different coasts and long distance never works, you know that Beck" she says with a small sigh. This had been bothering her since the day she got her letter and knew Beck wasn't going to be with her. She doesn't want them to end up in a relationship where she's worried about what he's doing 24/7 and he's doing the same. Her jealousy is already out of hand, she doesn't even want to imagine what it's going to be like when they're apart. It isn't fair to either to them.

He slides his hands up her sides and to her cheeks, cupping her face in his hands. He kisses her deeply, stopping any doubts she has playing on a loop in her mind. When they break for air, Beck presses his forehead against hers, tips of their noses touching.

"We'll make this work, _I promise_."

'_Now boarding all passengers for flight 246 to New York City._'

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	2. when we melt alone

**a/n:** here's ch 2! thank you so much for the feedback you guys, i really appreciate it. :) here's chapter 2. i hope you guys enjoy!

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><p>She's all settled in and back from dinner when she takes out her pearbook. It's her first night in her dorm, her new surroundings. Jade's still recovering from her jet lag and she hasn't decided if she likes her roommates or not. One is bubbly and<em> happy <em>and Jade hates happy but she reminds her of her best friend so she's on the fence about her. The two who share the room across from their common room she hasn't got to know yet which is fine by her because she's far from a people person anyway.

The city is so foreign to her and she feels so empty, somethings missing and when she sees an invitation for a video chat pop up on her screen from _GotBeck_ she's reminded of exactly what it is.

Jade presses accept and pops her ear buds in, a smile appearing on her face as soon as she sees Beck. It's as if she hasn't seen him in years when in actuality its been hours.

"Hey beautiful."

She shakes her head. "Shut up."

He gives her a cheeky smile. "How're you liking it so far?"

"You're not here, what do you think?"  
>"Are you playing nice?" He asks knowing very well about her tendencies to not make the best first impressions.<p>

"What's your definition of nice exactly?"

"_Jade_.."

"As nice as I can manage."

"Better than nothing" he surmises.

She gives him a tour of her room and the suite she shares with the 3 other girls. He even meets Ella, the brunette she shares her room with, who gushes to Jade about how cute he is and before Jade can threaten her life and tell her to never look at him again she shows her a picture of her girlfriend back home in Ohio. That's when Jade decides she's cool.

They chat until 6 AM Jade's time and she's practically falling asleep. She refuses to go but Beck finally gets through to her because she has to get up in exactly 3 hours for freshman orientation.

"I love you."  
>"I know" she laments with a pout as she rubs her tired eyes.<p>

_Scissorluv is offline._

;;

They text during the day and chat at night, both Beck and Jade prefer video chatting because they get to see each others faces and it soothes the aching in their chests they have because they miss each other so much.

The first two weeks are the hardest because they're adjusting to the change. Not seeing each other every morning. Beck not greeting her with a coffee and a kiss. Not sharing the same classes. Not spending afternoons and nights together. It's a stark contrast compared to their past but they're making it work as best as they can.

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Her roommates invite Jade to a party and she declines. They whine because she never goes out and Beck frowns hearing she's not socializing. Sure it's _Jade_ but he at least wants her to be having the full college experience everyone has including college parties and having fun. The last thing he wants to do is hold her back from enjoying herself.

"You should go, you don't have to hang around them" he reminds her.

"I know but I'd rather be here with you" she shrugs not thinking it was a big deal.

;;

The nights that Beck goes out with his new friends, Jade stays up and waits for him. He tries to get home at a reasonable hour so they can still chat. She swears its okay because any time she gets to spend with him is better than none at all. She just drinks extra strong coffee the next morning and tries not to feel so needy. She misses her boyfriend more than anyone could know.

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Beck's pearbook dings with a video chat and when he accepts he sees the grin on Jade's face. He has to admit he's curious as to what put it there. Before he can ask she exclaims, "I'm going to be Wendla!"

During the 2nd week of classes Jade auditioned for the part of Martha in the theater department's fall production of Spring Awakening. She'd only auditioned on a whim and upperclassmen warned her she wouldn't get any part but she didn't care about what they had to say.

Instead she'd gotten the part of Wendla Bergmann, that was the last thing she'd been expecting. A freshmen hadn't gotten a lead on their first audition in years, as a result she's now the talk of the department. It's only a month into her 1st semester and she was already taking the school by storm. It's a nice change compared to always coming second place to Tori back in high school.

"Are you serious? That's amazing!" Beck says in genuine excitement because he knows just how much she'd wanted any role and getting the lead was quite a feat.

"I can't believe it, I thought for sure I'd get Martha but Wendla?"

"I'm so happy for yo-"

"Who's that?" she asks cutting Beck off when she sees movement behind him in the RV. Her grin now replaced with a scowl and her happy tone gone as she leans closer to the screen to get a better look.

Beck turns around then back to his screen and shrugs, "It's just Aubrey."

"_Just Aubrey?_" Jade echoes, the name lingering on her lips and leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. She tries but fails at concealing her jealousy because she swore she'd work on that but there's another girl in his RV. _Fuck that chiz_.

"Yeah, say 'Hi' Aubrey" Beck calls out and Jade can hear her saying 'hi' in a happy tone. A little_ too happy_ if you ask her.

"And who is sh-" Before she can ask Beck is turning the laptop around where he sees a redheaded girl and another guy sitting on his bed, scripts in front of them.

"And that's Michael" he pauses a long beat, "_Aubrey's boyfriend_."

Jade swears she can hear the smirk on lips because by the tone of his voice she knows he is. It reminds her of the whole cheerleader incident their sophomore year in Hollywood Arts.

"We're working on a scene together for class."

And right then and there she has to admit she feels a bit dumb for jumping to conclusions.

"Say 'Hi' Jade."

She begrudgingly does.

;;

On their 5 year anniversary Jade wants to cry because she wants to spend it with her boyfriend but instead she's stuck all the way across the country. That night is the first time they fall asleep together during a video session.

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It's Thanksgiving break and Jade goes home for the first time since August. He picks her up in the airport and they don't leave each others side the whole holiday weekend. Their Thanksgiving day consists of Chinese food and a Godfather marathon. Beck buys them a pumpkin pie to make it feel more like the holiday, she hates pumpkin pie but she eats it anyway.

They turn off their phones and shut themselves out from the world because it's been months since they last got to physically touch each other. Nothing exists during that weekend but them in that RV.

It hurts them both when she has to leave but he reluctantly lets her go when they're at her terminal.

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It's Spring Awakening's opening night and Cat and Robbie drive up to see her. Her rendition of 'Mama Who Bore Me' gets a standing ovation. Everyone's talking about her performance when the final curtain drops. Robbie records the whole thing at Jade's request.

Jade goes to dinner with her two friends but skips out on the cast party to celebrate such a strong opening and spends the night with Beck watching the performance. He can't help but tell her how mind blowing she is and then realizes that she should be celebrating.

Beck gets the sick feeling that maybe_ just maybe_ he's holding her back and keeping her star from shining as bright as it can.

;;

Finals have come and gone for Jade and she takes the first plane back to LA. She decides to skip out on end of the semester activities because really the sooner she can get back home to her boyfriend the better. Before they know it she's home for winter break. Once again they're inseparable.

;;

After exchanging gifts they spend Christmas together with a large pizza and Full House marathon. As usual Jade protests but she cuddles up to him and watches because she'd missed this.

;;

It's New Year's Eve and they're back at their spot by the Hollywood sign, sitting on the bed of his truck, arms wrapped around each other. This time they aren't alone. Cat and Robbie are sitting on the hood of his car, her head resting on his shoulder and hands entwined. Tori's head is In André's lap as they lay on a blanket on the ground. Music is coming from the speakers of André's car.

It's like old times, passing freshly rolled joints between each other and reminiscing about old times and sharing new experiences.

Cat glances at her pearphone and squeals, "Guys! One more minute!"

Beck and Jade hop off the truck, followed by Cat and Robbie who go around to the front of the car and take out bottles of champagne (one for each respective couple). André and Tori get up from the ground and join their friends as they stand, staring at the city below them.

"_10.. 9.. 8.. 7.. 6.._" Cat and Tori count down excitedly.

Beck tightens his arms around Jade and she wraps hers around his neck.

Robbie passes the bottles around before taking Cat in his arms and giving her an eskimo kiss, causing her airy giggle to fill the air.

Tori pulls André close and presses her forehead against his.

Everyone chimes in this time. "_5.. 4.. 3.. 2.. 1_"

"Happy New Year!" Cat shouts before pulling Robbie's lips to hers.

Beck kisses Jade deeply, as he holds her close. Everything dissolving around them as if they're the only two there and nothing or no one else exists.

Tori and André share a kiss and he whispers "_I love you_" against her lips causing her to grin so wide and her eyes to shine so bright it rivals the fireworks that have started above their heads.

Cat squeals when she and Robbie break their kiss and bounces up and down excitedly.

They pop their champagne bottles and spend the night watching the fireworks. They fall asleep under the stars again. When they're awakened by the sunrise, they go out for pancakes as a group and Jade won't admit it but she's glad they haven't drifted apart.

;;

One night Beck takes Jade to a bar near the UCLA campus that doesn't card anyone. It's karaoke night and his friends are there. When they meet her they all say the same thing "He can't stop talking about you." She's her usual self supplying endless rounds of biting sarcasm. They actually like her, that's new.

Beck takes the stage, usually he's not a singer but with a handful of beers in his system that easily changes. Their table is front row center and he looks right at Jade.

"I wanna dedicate this to my girlfriend of 5 years" his friends hoot and holler around her as does the rest of the bar. Jade fights the smile on her lips as he starts to sing.

_There are things in this world that I don't understand _

_Like love, war, gravity or the lay of the land_

_But all of these remain mysteries_

_One thing is for sure, you are worth living for_

The music begins and she watches him, the whole time his eyes never leave her. He's singing right to her and she fails to notice the fact that there's now a spotlight shining on their table because she's so into his performance. He's so getting laid the second they get back to the RV, _if_ she decides she can wait that long.

_One thing is for sure_

He steps to the end of the stage and reaches his hand out, which she gets up and takes. He pulls her up onto the stage.

_You are worth living for_

She pulls him into a kiss, making him drop the mic. Everyone cheers but it's drowned out by their heartbeats beating together and it's so loud in her ears.

"I love you" she mutters against his mouth.

"I know" he smirks.

_;;_

Jade drags him into the mens room 5 minutes later. She's never good with self restraint, especially with alcohol in her system.

;;

They've gotten so used to being around each other that when the day comes that she has to go back it's a slap back to reality. That this isn't really her home anymore and this isn't her life like it used to be.

Before she leaves Beck makes her promise to stop giving things up because of him and she reluctantly agrees. Jade chalks it up to the ungodly hour and the fact she hasn't had coffee.

It hurts even more the the third time they have to part. (There's no way they're ever going to get used to this.)

;;


End file.
